Friday, April 25, 2008

Always learning but never able to acknowledge the truth . 2 Tim 3:7

I don't want to be that person who seeks out knowledge and truth but ignores the truth right in front of his or her face. They can quote scripture like no other but honestly has no application of the word or understanding of it in their life. I want to acknowledge the truth, which is Jesus Christ at all times. I want to really see the goodness that exists. I want to know what it is I'm called to. I want to experience all that there is for me to experience. I want to love beyond my capability, allowing God's love to just flow from me into the lives of others. I don't want to merely know how to control anger yet nag my husband and discipline my children out of spite and cop attitudes with my friends and family. I don't want to be the evil one that no one can tell anything because of the possible reaction or judgement. I don't want to understand the complete function of marriage and all that it can offer and never really experience it's pure goodness. I want to be so Sold Out for you that I just live without worry or regret but I refuse to let the enemy torment me or steal my joy. I want to know how to really, I mean really be OK with being single. I want to enjoy my life. I want to know what it means to love me and see me the way that God does. I want to know. I want to.

So today I declare I will no longer be a lover of knowledge but a lover of truth. The wonderful truth of Jesus Christ!

Wednesday, April 23, 2008


I thank God for rest in his presence. I'm just learning what it means to slow down and do things in excellence. For the longest, I have juggled so many things and done them poorly and I always thought that if I slowed down then I would be losing out. Losing out on adventure, fun, friends, boos (boyfriends), blessings, etc. I always thought if I wasn't in on what was going on then I would never know the purpose or plan for my life. I want so desperately for the promises of God towards me to be fulfilled and sometimes it seems like they will never be but I know that he's a God of faithfulness. Even though I'm not faithful in my prayer time, my word time, my worship time, in fasting, in living this walk of Christ-likeness out or anything, he's still faithful. The sun and moon still rise and fall and it's because he's faithful, not me. My prayer is that I would learn to be anxious for nothing but offer the cares of my heart to him in prayer. That I wouldn't worry as much as I do about who I will marry, if I will be a good mother, what will my final career path look like, or when will I be debt free? Lord these are things my flesh would lead my heart and mind to believe are of desperate urgency to know when all that is in front of us is preparing us for glory. All things are working out for his plan and purpose, which is good but everyday we have to submit our life and day to him so that we are not walking in our own selfish desires. Lord forgive me for not surrendering my day to you earlier. You are so awesome. You are so great. Have your way. Do with my life as you please, it may be uncomfortable but I know that it's fulfilling.

Lord my prayer for today is that you would increase the urgency for prayer and rest in you. Show us how to be so submitted to you. Lord you are so awesome. Have your way. Move by your spirit. Show us the way, the truth and the life. We are leading false and poor reflections. Guide us. We need you now. Show up father. Move me out of the way so that you can do what needs to be done in my life. Show me the idols. Show me the thing I hold near and dear to me. I need you so much. This is your life and day. Have your way!

In Jesus Name


Monday, April 21, 2008


I'm so thankful for great friends who encourage you when the going gets tough. I'm so thankful for friends who love me for Me. I know I'm not perfect but they still love me. I thank the Lord for giving me these friends. I know that my life right now is so blessed not because of what I did but because of what God-the son did. I love him so much. He's so awesome. So my weekend was great too. I went to the park and chilled with some awesome women of God who just filled me up with happiness, by just being in their presence. Then I came home and chilled with me and God of course. I actually drew. I'm working on this picture of Laila Ali and her new hubby Curtis Conway, it's not turning out how I wanted it to but it's great practice. I'm just blessed by the Lord with his goodness. I wrote on Thursday that I was inspired to draw and I carried it out with God's help. Prayer works ya'll. Lord willing I want to spend more time with my guitar glorifying the lord. He's so awesome and I want to praise him in so many ways. I want to praise him with my life, with my song, with my guitar, with my art, with my films, with my work, with everything I do. Lord use me for your glory. Not my will be done but let yours be fulfilled in the earth. Rest Rule and Abide here. In Jesus Name Amen!

God Rocks Forever!!!

Thursday, April 17, 2008

So I was inspired

Today I was inspired. I have for the longest been so fearful of expressing myself creatively for the fact that I just didn't think that I was good enough. I loved to draw growing up and would always do it. I was so good people thought I was going to be an Art major, sketching mostly with Charcoal and pastels and pencil was my heart. I tried to paint but it wasn't my strongest area. My heart really loved to sketch people in their truest form. While I drew I also enjoyed acting in high school plays and dancing with my sister. Art was all around me growing up, it's what inspired me to study film. This is a struggle of mine, being good at so many things but fear of excelling in one thing because the others will be neglected. So what? I know but tell my heart that, it wants it all with no exceptions. Anyways, I really want to start drawing again. I want to take like a art 101 class or something just to get back in the swing of things. I miss it.

Thanks for the inspiration today GK!