Tuesday, September 16, 2008

I didn't know

So when I started this blog I had no idea what I was starting. I thought that this was going to be just a small something that I did just to get some things off my chest or to clear my head and maybe bless someone. However God has totally blown my mind with this blog. The title behind the blog is "Freeing Myself" and it all came out of this prison that I held my self captive in mentally, financially, spiritually, emotionally, etc, etc, and etc. I could go on and with all the ways that I kept myself from truly being free. I was just telling someone last night that when I was 18 and in college I had this pressing fear that if I didn't go to bed at a certain time or do my homework or do the dishes and clean the bathroom or went to a party knowing I had class the next morning that I truly thought my parents were going to show up out of nowhere and at that time they lived in Las Vegas so that definitely wasn't happening but some reason I made myself believe that and it prevented me from truly enjoying myself because in the back of my mind I still felt like a kid. Now in all seriousness yes I was still a child in many ways but to the good ol US of A I was an adult. Eligible for military service, jury duty, tax responsibility, and so on. I say all of this to say that to say that this blog was prophetic in its declaration. I needed to free myself from some things in March 2008 when I started this and now September 2008 I am just coming out of some of those things and others I am still struggling with but I am happy that I am learning and growing and truly learning how to be free the way that God has called to be free. Free from fear and embracing love and adventure and the marvelous journey that God has for me.