30 Days of Christmas Cheer: Day 4 - Christmas Activities

I'm a bit sad that I won't be enjoying the Christmas lights with my friends tonight. They will be down at Naples Island in Long Beach to see the Christmas lights and decorations. My family has done this Christmas activity in the past. We would stop by the local coffee shop and get hot drinks. Then walk along the water admiring all the Christmas Cheer. It's fun. It gives us a chance to catch up with one another as well as burn off some calories. I think we always did this after Thanksgiving too. For those that are not familiar with Naples Island, here's a link to the area, click here. Imagine these beautiful homes by the water all covered in Christmas lights and decorations. It's beautiful and a hidden gem. 

That's one of many Christmas activities to do with your family that doesn't cost much. These days I'm big on finding free or as close to free as I can get activities.  As a kid my granny would take me around the block to admire the Christmas lights and decorations. This was always the start of the Christmas season for me. We'd get some snacks and hop in the car and look at all the pretty houses. I always admired the creativity. It was amazing to me what people could do with lights. I've never been but there is a neighborhood referred to as Candy Cane Lane. Candy Cane Lane is famous for their Christmas lights and decorations. This year I plan to attend. Click here for more information.

As I got older I started my own Christmas traditions. For a few years I would take my friends and family to event called, Back to Bethlehem. There was a church who turned their entire property into Bethlehem. They had the costumes, sets, animals and food. It was a great experience. As you entered Bethlehem you received Shekels, the currency of that time. With your shekels you could buy snacks or pay your taxes. The Roman soldiers were on their guard making sure that Caesar received what was his. I wish they still had it but a few years ago they stopped. 

Last but not least every year my church has a Holiday Extravaganza for the community. They give away toys, food and there are plenty of activities for the kids. As well as a vendor fair. This year they put together this cute video to invite everyone to the event, click here to watch. If your in the San Fernando Valley, then be sure to stop by. I'll be posting more of my favorite Christmas activities throughout the month. Down below please let me know what Christmas Activities you do with your family and friends. And as always thanks for reading.

30 Days of Christmas Cheer: Day 3 - Christmas at the Beach

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Me and my siblings - Christmas '97

I was born and mostly raised in Southern California. I say mostly because there were seasons when I lived in St. Louis, Missouri with my father and stepmother. As well as the small stint my mother and stepfather moved us to Las Vegas, Nevada. Outside of those two instances I consider myself a California girl. A SoCal girl at that. We lived close to the beach growing up but never on the beach. We could always smell the salt water and feel the fog roll in from day to day. You would think that for someone who grew up close to the water that it's impact would have waned. Not for me. The beach has and always will be one of my favorite places. The ocean itself is both mesmerizing and terrifying. The hypnotic current of the ocean can draw you into a tranquil state of mind. While those same waves can take you under if you are not careful. 

Nonetheless one of my favorite memories is from the time my family spent Christmas at the beach. This particular year my parents rented a 2 bedroom apartment by the water in Carlsbad, CA. We spent Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and the Day After Christmas there. It was such a great time. I remember the games me and my siblings played as we were passing time. We played the laughing game. It's a super silly game where one person has to get up and try to make everyone else laugh. The first person to laugh has to get up and try their hand at making everyone laugh. It's sort of like charades but instead of guessing you are trying not to laugh. We would play for hours. I enjoyed the debates that ensued about whether a snort was a laugh. And the house rules my siblings would insist upon, sort of like playing monopoly or uno with folks. Everybody had their house rules and we had ours. One of our rules was no sound could be made while the person was up. If you did make a sound then it was considered laughing. Those were the good ole days. When our only worry was if we could make each other laugh. 

This is also the year that eating Chinese food on Christmas Eve became a family tradition. I still remember the bright white china that held the orange chicken. The heaps of steamed rice and fried rice that covered the table and bowls of beef broccoli. This was before panda express. We had our favorite little Chinese food spots and the food was good. We went to bed that night with full bellies and expectant hearts. The next morning we opened tons of presents. We received Cabbage Patch Kids, Trolls, Furby's, Bendy Wendy's, Portable CD Players and clothes from Old Navy. And of course I cannot forget the digital pets. My sisters both received Tamagotchis and this was the year that I finally got my Gigapet. Those little gadgets were all the rage and I was so excited to have one.

Reading the instructions for my Gigapet

This is also the year that I got a portable CD player and my mom bought me a ton of CDs. I received the following singles, Blue by LeAnn Rimes, 2 become 1 by the Spice Girls and Phenomenon by LL Cool J. I spent countless nights jamming to to those tunes. I've always been a night owl so music has been a constant friend. Next to television and movies. Until the faithful day one of my siblings messed with the lens on the CD player. The lens that had the tiny sign that said do not touch. Yes that lens. I never caught the culprit but I have my suspicions. I'm not bitter. LOL. Not at all. Just curious.

Anyway this was such a great Christmas for our family. Not just because of the gifts but because of the time we got to spend. One thing I always enjoyed were the conversations I had with my parents and siblings. During dinner they would ask us about our lives. Deep questions about life. They would laugh with us. I  treasure those memories in my heart and I look forward to the day that I get to make those memories with my children. Well now that you know one of my favorite Christmas memories I would love to hear about yours. Leave me a comment down below with your favorite Christmas Memory. And as always thanks for reading.

30 Days of Christmas Cheer: Day 2 - Mrs. Kaye's Apple Cider Recipe

It's Day 2 of 30 Days of Christmas Cheer and I'm sharing my Apple Cider Recipe. I love apple cider!! I don't drink coffee so when I go to Starbucks during the Christmas season I have to get their Caramel Apple Spice. It's amazing! I also get it at kid temp so I don't burn my tongue. (Don't Judge Me!) Sorry I promise this isn't a Starbucks commercial but when I think of Apple Cider I think of theirs. It's really yummy!

Anyways a couple months ago I had a dream board party with a few friends and I served this delicious Apple Cider beverage. I think we were all jonesing for something more fall/winter-y since it was late October and the temperature outside was still in the high 80's. We wanted to at least pretend that the season had changed from Summer to Fall even if the LA weather didn't agree. I made this wonderful concoction and as we drank it, it felt like Fall. The wonderful aroma filled the house as we laughed and sipped our drinks. The recipe I used was simply apple cider and a couple spices. But if you want a more traditional flavor be sure to add orange peel and cloves to my recipe below. More traditional recipes use these additional ingredients. This process is called mulling. Here's a fun fact, apple cider is just unfiltered apple juice. Oh and Martinelli's Sparkling Apple Cider is Carbonated Apple Juice. I know I was disappointed for all of 30 seconds. I read that on wikipedia. I'm still going to drink it.

Here's my recipe, I hope you enjoy with those you love. And as always thanks for reading!

Mrs. Kaye's Apple Cider Recipe

Ingredients 

1 64 fl oz bottle of Apple Cider (Any brand)

2-3 Tablespoons Cinnamon

1-2 Teaspoons Nutmeg

Cinnamon Sticks (Optional) 

Instructions

Step 1. Pour Apple Cider into Crockpot. Add cinnamon sticks and ground cinnamon to the Crockpot and cover with lid.

Step 2. Let this goodness simmer in the crockpot on high for at least 30mins.

**Note: If you don't have a crockpot and use the stove then just make sure you keep the mixture below boil. You only want to heat the mixture.

Step 3. Once the mixture is heated, feel free to serve right out of the Crockpot or place in a thermos. Either way enjoy!

30 Days of Christmas Cheer: Day 1 - Plan Soberly

Last night my husband asked me if my blog series was going to be 30 Days of Christmas Cheer. I just looked at him. He said, Since it's December and Christmas is the 25th. I said, "Yes I'm going to extend the series past Christmas." And then he laughed at me and said, "But Christmas will be over.". "Yes I know.", I told him. Then I thought what am I going to write? And of course like most mornings inspiration fell upon me. (Yea right.) I will just share all the after Christmas Cheer that goes on in my house. 

The end of the year is a busy time and a  fun one. Work slows down a bit for the both of us, we're either at our parents house or at home. If we're at our parents house then there is tons of food, music and dancing. If we are at home then there are lots of "Snuddles" or "Cuggles" (our combined words for cuddle and snuggle) and crafts. I am the queen of DIY. And I'm challenging myself to make crafts out of the leftover Christmas items. I will use wrapping paper, ribbons, tissue paper and whatever else I can find lying around the house. So stay tuned for all posts after Christmas to see how I pull it all off. This should be interesting.

Now for today's post! 

What do I mean by Plan Soberly? In my case every year when it comes to Christmas I get overrun with emotion and I usually overspend at the store. I get caught up in the "Tis the season to be jolly" and "It's better to give than receive" messages and I go over budget.  Not this year. I refuse. For one I have a strict budget so I cannot spend money that I do not have.  And there isn't another reason outside of one. 

This year instead of keeping everything in my head like I tend to do. I will write the vision and make it plan. I'm going to make a list and check twice. I'll even spread some Christmas Cheer to those who were more naughty than nice. But I will tell people how I feel about them more than how much I spend on them. Which means the following for me.

1. Personalized Christmas Cards - I will take time to write out how much someone means to me in a card. I won't just sign my name to the card and put it into the envelope. I will take the time to think about our relationship and how I value the person. I'll also take this time to write words of encouragement for my family and friends who had a hard year. 

2. Unique Gifts - I will take the time to think about gifts that are complementary to my friends or family's interests and hobbies. Before deciding that a lotion set or box of cookies is the best way to go. 

3. Family Newsletter - This might be a great time to start a family newsletter for your family and friends. This could be something you provide once a year or the last month of each quarter. You can share announcements, photos, prayer requests and so much more.  I wouldn't use this as a primary way to communicate to your family but as a supplemental resource.

4. Just Ask - In some cases it may be easier to just ask what your family and friends would like for Christmas. Save time and money.

This year I will write a list of all the people who are important to me. And plan soberly how I want to celebrate this Christmas with them. Christmas shopping and gift giving doesn't have to be a pain or break the budget. It can be as simple as you make it. I'm curious to know how you plan to make Christmas work for your budget. Please share in the comments how you plan soberly. And as always thanks for reading.

Knock, Knock!!

I could bore you with a corny knock knock joke but I'll just jump to the punchline. 

Orange-you glad I'm back! 

Ha Ha Ha! Get it? Woo, I'm a real riot! 

So...(Adjusts imaginary tie, clears throat.)

I took some time off to work on a few goals and prep for the direction I wanted to take my blog and other businesses. My last post was in August and one of my main goals for going on a hiatus was I wanted to complete my first e-book. To meet that goal I joined my first mastermind group. In that group I received constant support from the members and the awesome mentors. I felt confident that taking a break from writing for the blog was the best choice for me. The advice I received kept telling me to speed up. Set a deadline and write. Work your butt off for 30 days and put out a product. Don't think about it just do it. And the more I tried to fit into the mold the more difficult it became for me to write. For one I didn't enjoy it anymore. It felt like a chore and the ideas didn't flow like they had before. I wanted to write this book but the truth was, I was still in debt. I still had a negative net worth so how could I provide financial advice. The questions I was asking myself were all valid. I needed to search deeper. 

Somewhere around late September I abandoned my book idea as well as the mastermind group. I had shifted focus once again. This time I went back to soap-making. I thought maybe the business I wanted to focus on was a physical one and not online. I began making strides, filed for my DBA with the women's business center in my town. I was on my way again. This felt so right! This is what I should be doing, I just know. Well if that was the case how come I still had this nagging feeling to write. How come it is that when I'm not writing I have a million ideas for blog posts and books. As much as I wanted it to just be one thing it's not for me. 

For as long as I could remember I've always wanted to be a renaissance woman aka Jane of all trades. In High School I would talk about my dreams of becoming an actress and business owner. I wanted to diversify my reach so that in every season I could turn a profit. These were the musings of a 17 year old. I thought I had it all figured out. Heck when I think about it even in college I would work 2 or 3 jobs and I even did taxes on the side. I would charge $10-$20 per tax return. I was doing college kids taxes (1040 EZ). Most of us were only getting $100 to $200 at most so I would charge approximate 10%. I would also teach people how to do them as well. I always wanted my own business for as long as I can remember. 

My goal is is now not to limit myself but to find a way to incorporate all my talents. I must find a way to use my gifts and talents. I can't just do one thing. I've tried it and it doesn't work for me. So with that said my focus is on creativity and encouragement. I have an ebook that I'm working on that encourages those in debt to stop living paycheck to paycheck. In the book I share several reasons why you can't afford to live in a place of perpetual lack. If you know someone that could use the swift kick then stay tuned, I'll be sharing the pre-order link next week. The book is due to release January 5th! I'm excited!!! 

I'm also working on my soap business. I have filed paperwork with the women's business center and now I'm building my brand. This piece was so important to me and with these changes to my business it's going to open up so many doors. I've also started working with two awesome voice over actors who are helping me with my demo reel. This is something that I can do in my spare time to start massaging my acting skills. My hubby and I actually have both been working on our voice acting skills for the last few months. We even bought a microphone. Most of the audio is unusable but it's helped us to figure out which part of the voice acting business we'd fit best. We always do voices. ALWAYS. So why not learn the craft and get paid to do it.

With all that said I'll be blogging again on a consistent basis. Which means this December you can expect a post from me everyday, starting today! Majority of my posts from here until the end of the year will be about Christmas in some way or another. . So stay tuned for all the Christmas Cheer! Also I missed you guys. During the break so many people told me that they were reading my blog. It surprised me. I had no idea some of you were reading. Thank you to everyone who enjoys what I write and follows my journey. I do share to be a blessing to you all. So please leave me a comment below if you're glad I'm back and as always Thank You for reading.

I'll Be Back!

First of all thanks for all the love on my blog, ya'll are the BOMB DOT COM. I have reached over 2,500 views on my blog in just a couple months and it's because ya'll are reading my posts. Prior to this year I think my blog only had 1,000 views at most and that was after years of being up so thank you for your support.

Anywho I wanted to let you know that I am taking a hiatus on my blog for the next month and half to work on my 1st E-BOOK. I'm so excited!! It took me awhile to be okay with this decision but after receiving advice directly from several successful online business owners this must happen so I can take my business to the next level. So I'm stepping away to create my first digital product. My e-book is about saving money and in it I will share tips on breaking the debt cycle and building wealth so stay tuned for that!! 

In the meantime, catch up on my old posts, follow me on IG (akaye143) or find me on FB (Amber Kaye) so we can stay connected. As always thanks for reading and I'll see you guys in October!!

Goodbye Netflix, HuluPlus & Amazon Instant Video

Gone are the days of cord cutting and believing that Netflix, HuluPlus and Amazon Instant Video are your cheapest solutions for home entertainment. Yes they sure do beat paying a cable bill of over $100 or more but there's a better way. Especially if you are like my hubby and I trying to find ways to decrease spending in order to pay off our debts. I have great news if that's you. Today you can find free home entertainment that will practically eliminate your spending in that area and you may already be a member. The resource I'm referring to is your local public library. I know pretty cool, right? One word of caution I'm not sure if all public libraries have these services but for sure Las Vegas and Los Angeles have them.

Originally I had a friend share with me that the Los Angeles Public Library aka LAPL offers e-books that you can access via their website. You use your library card number and last 4 digits of your phone number to check out the items just like you would in the physical library. That excited me because I recently had a trial of the e-book program called, Audible and felt it was a great service but I didn't want to pay for it. No reason in particular I just felt that at this point in my life I wasn't into paying for books. Sorry authors. I know as an author it sounds weird to me too. Forgive me.

Anywho, I meant to check it out but just kept forgetting. Well last month while visiting family in Las Vegas, my sister who works for the local public library there, told me about all the free e-media resources her public library offered. I knew about the free e-books but didn't know music, movies and tv-shows were available for free streaming as well. I thought that was cool but wasn't sure if my my local library offered the same free services. Low and behold I checked and the LAPL does!! Los Angelenos if you are looking for a way to cut expenses you may be able to get rid of your Netflix, HuluPlus, Amazon Instant Video and Audible accounts as well as limit your Itunes music purchases.

Here's a quick overview of the LAPL e-media resources

(Please note this info was copied right from the LAPL e-media page but I thought I would include it to give you the overview of everything that is available. It's amazing, right?!)

e-Media by Format

e-Books: 

OverDrive - Downloadable, available formats are ePub, PDF, Kindle.
Axis360 - Downloadable, available formats are bLio, ePub.

e-Audiobooks:

OverDrive - Downloadable, available formats are wma (PC) and mp3 (Mac, PC).
hoopla - Streaming, some titles download to mobile devices.
OneClickdigital - Downloadable to Mac and PC.

e-Magazines:

Zinio - Read online or download to mobile devices.

e-Video:

hoopla - Streaming movies and tv shows, some titles download to mobile devices.
OverDrive - Downloadable to Windows PCs.

e-Music:

Freegal - Downloadable mp3s that you keep.
hoopla - Streaming files available for 7-day checkout.
OverDrive - Downloadable for 7 to 21-day checkout.

Podcasts:

ALOUD - Audio podcasts of the award-winning ALOUD series.

Alright I hope that helps. I was extremely excited when I got on the site and started exploring. There are so many books I just haven't had a chance to buy and as I embark on the journey of going from full time employee to entrepreneur there are so many rich and valuable resources that I now have at my fingertips for FREE. I hope you enjoyed this post. I appreciate you all so much. Please leave me a comment and let me know what other free services you are using to cut down on your home entertainment spending. I'd love to hear from you and as always thanks for reading!

Staying the Course

July came with some unexpected turns. We had to spend money that we did not plan on spending and thus our debt carving was a little less than expected. I don't regret it. I'm actually very impressed with the progress that my husband and I have made on our debts. If you look to your right you'll see I've added a debt tracker to the sidebar to help you see how far along we are with paying off our debts. As of July 2015 we have paid off 1% of our total debts. We paid over $600 towards our debt! Woo Hoo! That makes me very happy. Extremely happy that we have made necessary sacrifices in our life in order to make this happen.

What's even more exciting is that we are learning to stay the course. Although we paid less than what we wanted towards our debt we still stayed the course. An important lesson that is going to help us out in the long run. We could have given up and said oh well let's just push our debt repayment plan to August and use the "extra" (it's not really extra) money to have fun this summer. You need new clothes, I need new clothes. Let's just splurge! Nope. We didn't do that although the Camarillo Outlets are not that far we said no to our fleshly desires and we pursued our financial goals. Because this is what's going to matter in the long run.

As hard as it is to think about 3 years from now it's really not that hard. Time flies these days, it felt like only yesterday I was in college and before that in high school. Now I'm married (4 years in...Sheesh!) and working a real world full time job for a big corporation. Sometimes I do want things to slow down just a bit. However these are daily reminders that one day I won't be in debt and I'll look back and remember the sacrifices that we made for 3 years so that we could have the life we really wanted. The house we really wanted, the freedom to work for ourselves for lesser money because we don't need as much since we don't have debt. That's what really matters.

And as always I want to encourage you to stay the course with whatever goals you may have for yourself. Whether that be to pay off debt, start your own business or whatever, just remember that this is a very temporary situation. It's not going to be like this always. You will struggle and sacrifice for a little while so that later you can enjoy the results of your hard work. Keep your mind stayed on the goal and if you get off track just remember you can always start again. Alright guys thanks for stopping by and as always thanks for reading. Leave me a comment down below about where you are in relation to meeting your goals. I really do enjoy hearing from you guys. :) Have a great day!

Life Happens

I was talking with a friend about my absence from my blog over the past couple weeks and her response to my situation was "Life Happens", to which I thoroughly agreed. Life happened to me. I had a family emergency recently that totally turned my world upside down. I had to leave town suddenly to be with my family during a difficult time. I experienced tons of emotional and physical stress. I was stretched beyond what I thought I could take and challenged to step out of my comfort zone. Overall I'm glad I made the trip. I grew closer to my loved ones and was able to support them when they needed me most. All is well now (Thank God) and I'm happy. However my life has been changed by this experience.

First let me say that Life is too short (not the rapper) and tomorrow is not promised to anyone. I've had time to sit and think about who I am and what I want out of life and I've drawn a conclusion that I have to make my dreams become a reality. It's not a matter of IF, it's a matter of WHEN. There is no question in my mind whether I will be successful. I know I will be successful. I am successful. I know I must sound like a hyped up motivational speaker to those who do not know me personally. Honestly I'm really a positive person. I enjoy encouraging others and making the best out of every situation. I always look for the silver lining and this situation has taught me that I can't waste time. My time is quite limited and to do what I know God has called me to do I must be focused. I must understand who God created me to be and what he has created me to do. My purpose is what I'm referring to. I don't have time to dilly dally. I have to keep my eyes straight ahead which means there are some people and things that I will have to say "NO" to, including myself. I've been making changes to my life ever so slightly but now I'm even more determined to change my life for the better.

With that said, I am officially re-launching my company "Mrs. Kaye's Creations" this Fall. I've been in my lab working on some special things and I can't wait to share with you all. I'm also pursuing my acting and modeling career. I've had my head shots for awhile so now I need to make my selections, have them re-touched and submit them to the sites that I'm a part of before the Fall. And lastly I'm committing to writing everyday. I'll still commit to my schedule here on the blog which is Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays but personally I need to spend time working on my books and screenplay. I have outlines complete and even scenes mapped out for one book and the first chapter written but now it's time to revisit what I have started and complete it. I've had a lot of warnings that I need to work on my craft and this time around I'm not going to be lazy. I will finish what I started at any cost.

It feels good to be home. I missed my hubby. I missed my bed. And I missed my blog. Thank you all for your support it means so much to me. This blog has given me so much life and happiness over the last couple months and for that I'm grateful. OH and I really do like to see comments from you guys so leave me a welcome back comment down below. I'd love to hear how you guys refocus when "Life Happens." Thanks for stopping by and as always thanks for reading!!!

Grateful for My Life

I had the absolute best time celebrating my birthday last week. From the festivities at work to my playtime at Disneyland all the way to my tea party, I really felt celebrated and enjoyed celebrating my special day with everyone. I'm so full of love and joy and peace. I'm overrunning with gratefulness. This week was a bit tough for me because my mother was in the hospital with pneumonia and a kidney infection. Her fever wouldn't go away and her lungs were filled with fluids. When she called to wish me a happy birthday she broke down in the middle of her speech. (Side note: She insisted that I not call her on my birthday and that she be the one to call me.) It was so hard to hear my mom in so much pain. She kept telling me not to worry about her but to celebrate my life. At first I was conflicted. I felt like I should run to be by her side. I wanted to make sure that she was okay. I think she could hear it in my voice so she kept pressing me with the little bit of breath she had to really celebrate the whole week, heck the whole month. So I did but with a deeper revelation that this life isn't promised to any of us. I was so grateful just to take a deep breath and live life. I had no expectations of anything or anyone. I simply just wanted to have fun. I feel as though when I truly embrace life for what it is then I have the best times. Thank you to everyone who wished me a happy birthday it truly meant the world to me. 29 is my year! 

Update: Debt Free Journey

Tonight is my most favorite-ist time of the week. That's right it's date night for me and my hubby. We'll spend some time staring lovingly into one another's eyes, professing our deep affections and then one thing will lead to another and I will pull out the budget when he's not looking. That's right it's time for a check in. We're drawing near to our first snowflake payment using the debt avalanche method to pay off $45K worth of debt in 35 months. Which I talk about right here if you missed it. We have set the budget, reduced spending and now it's time to put our money where our mouth is, quite literally. We used June as a buffer month to help us pad this crazy jump in debt payments. We are used to paying more than the minimum payments on our debts but I will be honest and say I was sad when we paid only the minimum on all our other debts. I'm so used to spreading that snowflake payment across all of my debts that it just feels weird not to do it. I have to continually remind myself that setting our focus on the debt that has the highest interest will save us money and allow us to pay off our debt sooner rather than later.

So once we check in tonight on the budget we'll be able to make our first snowflake payment on our loan for our timeshare. I'm really excited about this because I know it's just the beginning and the sacrifices we are making now will allow us to live how we want later. I still need to find a bank or credit union offering a lower interest loan so we can save money on our time share. Right now the interest is at about 15.95% and I know I can find something much lower which will help to decrease the time it takes to pay off our overall debts and save us money. My company has a credit union so I'm going to give them a call today to see how I can consolidate our existing loan or line of credit from our timeshare company. If anyone has any advice on this matter I am open to hear it as this is an area we are not experienced in at all.

Also I'm looking for a debt tracker tool that I can add to the blog so you guys can see our progress and help to cheer us on. If anyone has any recommendations I welcome them. Thanks for stopping by the blog and as always thanks for reading.

29 Things I want to do before my 30th Birthday

Today is my 29th Birthday and I'm so happy and content with where I am in life. Which took longer than I would have expected but I am grateful for the journey. I've started making steps in the right direction months ago and I am starting to see some of my hard work pay off. It's really inspiring me to continue in the way that I started. I'm not where I want to be but I'm on my way and that's okay with me. Below is my bucket list of 29 things I want to do before my 30th Birthday in no particular order except for the first one. It's huge for me. These are some things that have been on my heart for awhile so now I'm sharing with you so that I have some accountability over the next 12 months.

The List

1. First and Foremost I want to move from being a full-time employee to becoming a full-time entrepreneur. 
2. Become a better swimmer.
3. Learn how to surf. (I have to do #2 before 3.)
4. Decorate and organize my apartment per the vision I see in my head.
5. Go on at least 1 mission trip to anywhere in the world.
6. Take a vacation with my family.
7. Start studying and practicing my Spanish again. It's been a hot minute.
8. Grow my own herbs. (Really, like thyme, basil, rosemary, etc.)
9. Build a headboard for our bed.
10. Go Horseback riding at least one a quarter.
11. Visit 5 California Missions I've never been to before. (For those who don't know one of my big bucket list items is to visit all 21 missions in California)
12. Start using a planner to keep myself organized.
13. Finish my first e-book.
14. Learn how to paint.
15. Decrease my living expenses by more than 25%.
16. Grow my savings to at least $5k.
17. Spend time researching my genealogy on both my Mom and Dad's sides of the family.
18. Host my own tea party in my home.
19. Encourage at least 10 women to pursue their passion.
20. Book at least 2 paid acting jobs.
21. Book at least 1 paid modeling job.
22. Finish the outline for my YA novel.
23. Develop the prototypes for at least 2 of my inventions.
24. Share my poetry with the world.
25. Buy a bike and ride it.
26. Volunteer at my local hospital.
27. Mentor at least 1 young woman not related to me.
28. Invest in the young people in my family.
29. Be a better wife.

That's it. Those are 29 things I want to do before my 30th Birthday. These are things that have crossed my mind some way or another and I want to try to make them happen. I may not hit everything on this list or I just might surprise myself. Ultimately I know that working to achieve these things will definitely help to grow me beyond my comfort zone. Thanks so much for stopping by I appreciate you so much. I'd love to hear if any of the items on my bucket list are on yours. Please leave me a comment down below I want to hear from you and as always thanks for reading.

Grateful for My Regrets

There used to be a time in my life when I was ashamed of the mistakes I had made. I felt as though my mistakes disqualified me from becoming the person I knew I was destined to be. I wanted more than anything to wipe away those mistakes from my life. I wanted to clear the slate of my past, erasing every thing I deemed as a mistake. Soon my mistakes became my regrets. That which was simply meant to be a life lesson to learn from became a hindrance to my progression. My regrets became a stronghold around my feet preventing me from moving forward. I knew I had purpose. I knew I had dreams but I felt that they were impossible to achieve because surely I wasn't worthy. I believed lies for years. Lies that I wasn't good enough. Lies that the things I had done were preventing me from moving forward when truthfully they were there to help me move forward. Some of these lies I personally told myself, others were told to me by people and the rest of the lies were from the enemy of my very soul.

I don't recall when I realized that my regrets were really for my good. I don't know that moment where I reached within to overcome outwardly or really what motivated it. Maybe I was tired of playing the blame game. Maybe I was sick of being disappointed in myself. Or maybe I realized that we all have regrets in life and that I couldn't change mine. Whatever it was I'm grateful for it. I no longer feel as though I am disqualified. I now know that it is my regrets of the past that will help me accomplish my purpose. I now see my regrets as stepping stones to my destiny rather than obstacles in my way. I really want to encourage you not to run from your past failures and mistakes. The very things that you wish weren't a part of your story might be the very thing that creates a platform for you to share your life's message with the world. Don't be afraid. Take courage my friends. Your regrets just might be fuel for your dreams. Thanks for stopping by, hope you had a great Independence Day weekend and as always thanks for reading.

Debt and Clutter

I feel like the two are more connected than I realize. I haven’t done any real research on it so please don’t take this as fact but merely my own insights on the matter. I shared in this post here, that I decluttered my bookshelf and found almost $60 worth of used books to sell on Amazon. Quick update: I’ve made $35.15 off the books I posted on Amazon. I’m just $23.06 away from my estimated earnings and I think I might hit that goal by the end of the summer. Anyway after decluttering my bookshelf I felt great as well as it looked great. There was more room on the shelf and it looked cleaner and sleeker. I guess as sleek as books could look.

I have known for a while that I needed to declutter my apartment. And by a while I mean more than 5 years. Yikes! I know I’m really bad especially since I had a conviction about it 5 years ago and have been working ridiculously slow at actually making it happen.  As I find myself shedding excess expenses I am more inspired to shed excess stuff. I know for a fact that I have too many clothes. I have been blessed with awesome women in my life who give and buy me clothes all the time and so I rarely have to go shopping but since I’ve lost weight this year most of my clothing does not fit me so it’s time to pass on the good stuff, throw out the bad and stop tricking myself into thinking I need to keep stuff for sentimental reasons.

I’m the queen of saving. I wish I were the queen of saving money but unfortunately it is stuff. I save everything. I still have the program from my school plays and my journals from high school and college. Which I don’t think I’ll part with those but then there are the birthday cards, bridal shower cards, wedding cards, anniversary card, get well cards, just because cards and valentine’s cards (only from my hubby). I just can’t seem to part with them. I want to keep them but the truth is I don’t have the space. I don’t have the room. We have a 2 bedroom apartment but there’s not a ton of storage space at all. I’ve known this since I moved in a few years ago but I didn’t have nearly as much stuff then. Over the last 5 years I have accumulated enough to fill a small home and it’s with this realization that I am de-cluttering this holiday weekend. I really don’t need the stuff. I don’t want some of the stuff but sometimes it's just hard to let go.

I am looking to try the Kondi Mari method for organizing and decluttering. I've watched a few YouTube videos on the process and it seems really freeing. I haven’t read the book but from what I’ve seen it’s based on feelings…sort of. One step I saw Organized Jen do, is she put all her clothes in one pile in the center of the room. She took everything out of the drawers, closet, shelves, etc. and she just stacked it in a pile in the middle of her bedroom. It was a big pile but I’m sure mine will be just as big. And the next step I think was the key to it all. Instead of deciding to keep things based on need it was done based on want. If shed picked something up and there was no excited or happy or positive responsive then it was either trashed or put in a pile for donations. You’re not supposed to try anything on but I think she said she broke that rule. All in all it was really eye opening. In the end her closet and drawers looked very clean and organized even though her closet and drawers were pretty organized before since that’s what she does for a living. I plan to document the process and share with you guys. Let me know if you feel that debt and clutter are connected and what your plans are for the weekend. I’d love to hear from you and as always thanks for reading.

30 Days of Blogging

I Made it! 

Yes!!! Go Me. It's the last day of June and I couldn't be more excited about it. So for those who don't know and that should be most of you since I didn't really publicize it too much. My personal writing goal for the month of June was to publish a blog post everyday. And I did it. Today marks day 30 and I am so happy that's it's over. This month has been an amazing one. I've written about some amazing topics and hit some amazing milestones for my blog. I kicked off the month celebrating the love of my life with this post. I bared my heart well really the heart of my 15 year old self and shared the love I have for my hubby. To be honest I really can't think of one thing in particular that inspired me to write a blog post every day for 30 days. I think once I started writing I just kept thinking to myself let's not just stop here. Or I would say to myself let's try this again tomorrow and before I knew it I was challenging myself to writing a blog post everyday. I'm glad I did it. It renewed something in me. I enjoyed sharing my insights and perspective on life.

Thank You

I am so grateful for each and every reader and visitor. I want to personally thank each and everyone of you that read an article and left me a comment or special word of encouragement whether on the blog or on my FB or Twitter accounts. Thank You! You totally rock. I appreciate your support so much. It means the absolute most to me. I really do mean it when I say please leave me a comment if you enjoyed a post or relate in anyway. I do want to hear your stories too. Please feel free to share.

What's Next?

Glad you asked. :) I am establishing a blogging schedule. Yes, me the girl who hates planning and budgeting and gets hives from calendars I am putting a line in the sand and setting up a blogging schedule. I'm committing to you my readers because you guys are awesome and I want to give you quality content on a consistent basis. Without further ado...here you go!

Mrs. Kaye Writes Blogging Schedule
You can expect new blog posts from me on the following days:

Tuesdays - Thursdays - Sundays

**Anything over and above will be a bonus post

Thank you again for reading it really does mean the world to me. And as I said leave me a comment I would love to hear which blog post of my 30 days of blogging inspired, touched, encouraged or enraged you.

Event Recap: Unstuck 2015

This past weekend I had the opportunity to attend an amazing event called "Unstuck" hosted by my church H.O.P.E.'s House. I shared in my post here yesterday that I had an awesome encounter with a sister after the conference but I wanted to share a few nuggets that I got from each of the 4 sessions that I went to. Hope you enjoy!

Opening/Welcome 
Our lead Pastor and founder of the Unstuck conference, Andrea Humphrey, kicked things off with a lighthearted song that would become the anthem of the day at least for me. She had us all stand up and sing along to Natasha Bedingfield's song, "Unwritten". I personally love this song and was excited that she chose it. However this time I actually listened to the lyrics and a few things resonated with me. One I now understood that my story is my own, that this life is my own and that no one else could live it for me. No one else can speak the words I have been given or write them for that matter. It's my responsibility. Secondly, my favorite line of that song is when she sings, "Feel the rain on your skin, No one else can feel it for you." That's so true. I have to feel and know for myself the pain and joy of each experience. This is my life. I can't pawn off my hard work, preparation or achievements to anyone. I must own them and live them. Lastly I heard possibility in this song. There's so much that is unwritten. There's so much more coming. There's so much that I haven't seen or heard nor have others. This was such a great declaration to begin the conference. Pastor Dre as we call we affectionately call her, went on to share how she came up with the idea for the conference and the key things she wanted us to take away. One of those things is how preparation is essential to our success. She even rewarded those who prepared with gift cards. She gave one sister a gift card for bringing her resume to the Career Strategy session. She gave some to those who traveled the furthest and those who paid for people to attend. Her point was made even clearer with her actions. If you are prepared when an opportunity arises then you will be successful.

Finance
Next I attended a session on financial strategy conducted by Ese Akpovi, PMP, CPA. I know her and she's so thorough and legit. I was excited for this session since my hubby and I are on our Journey to become Debt Free by May 2018 and I want to absorb as much information about managing my finances properly. One of the things Ese shared was that sometimes we STUCK when money takes on the form a person rather than it's original purpose as a tool. This concept was mind blowing for me. I never realized that I could be treating money like a person. If it's a tool then it's something that you can utilize to help you manage your life but if it's a person then it's used to gain acceptance, fill gaps in the past, console or provide therapy or change people. She also talked about the importance of managing your money so that you can become a master over it. However if you can manage your money then how you master it and if you don't measure you money you can't manage nor can your grow it. She did provide some great solutions and helped us understand the purpose of money as well as dispel some common myths about the rich like they drive expensive cars. It was a very sobering presentation that was founded on facts and principles.

Image
Stacy Andrews a celebrity make up artist with over 18 years experience led the next session I attended. Her take on Image was refreshing and before sharing glam tips she made sure to stress the importance of loving yourself and thanking your body for all that it does for you each day. It may sound a bit silly but it made sense to me. When was the last time I said thank you for my blinking eyes. I really can't remember ever saying thank you to God or being grateful in general for all the many functions of my body and appreciating who I am and how I am made. This is an area where we get STUCK surrounding our image and s Stacy also shared the top 20 things every woman should have in her wardrobe regardless of age, race, size and preferred style of clothing. She walked us through a full make up tutorial live on one of the lucky attendees during the session. She also showed us some simple ways to achieve highlighting and contouring without looking like we were headed to battle with our war paint. She even dispelled some popular myths floating around YouTube. My favorite part of the session were the tips on hair care and skin care. She knocked it out of the park and made things so simple.

Relationships
Lastly was the session I attended for married women only on relationships. This was a much needed tune-up for me. I love my hubby and I love our marriage but regardless of how great it is there are areas that could use some improvement but more importantly there are areas in my life that need improvement and this session really brought it to light. Nina Stewart who co-leads the marriage ministry at our church with her husband spent a nice chunk of the session going over the differences between husbands and wives and our needs. Now most of this stuff I remember somewhat from our marriage preparation classes but some I forgot. However in some instances since I've been married for a little bit I have more experience so some things speak to me in new ways. My main takeaway was that as a wife I really have some much influence in my husband's life because of my position. And I could use that influence for good or evil the choice is up to me. I could use that influence to encourage and speak life or to destroy his ego and tear him down. My goal is to uplift him and encourage him and do my best to meet his needs as much as humanly possible. I want our marriage to go the distance but there is work to be done and it doesn't start with him it starts with me.

Overall the conference was a successful so many women were encouraged and touched by the sessions. I spoke to several people that were really blessed by what took place. I know my life was made better by attending and I look forward to the next one. Leave me a comment below and as always thanks for reading.

Stay Tuned for details for Unstuck 2016. You don't want to miss it!

Grateful for My Church Family

I love how the body of Christ works. When the bible says that the Lord sets every member of the body as he sees fit or as it pleases him (1 Cor. 12:18), I truly believe that and I feel I saw the body of Christ in action yesterday. Yesterday I went to an amazing conference called "Unstuck" which I will be sharing an event recap on the blog tomorrow. The event was so amazing. I heard so much great knowledge from experts in the areas of finance, image and relationships but again I will share more on that later.

I'm always shocked to see how God will move in my life when I least expect it. After the conference I had an amazing encounter with one sister who really encouraged and uplifted me in ways I didn't know I needed. This particular woman spoke words of encouragement to an area I had been really low in lately. She spoke to my beauty. She called me beautiful. She told me that every part of me was beautiful and she glorified God for how he made me. She looked me in my eyes and told me I was beautiful and I received it completely. I've heard it all before but this time something took root deep in my heart. Yes I know I am a beautiful girl. I'm not blind. I see it. However lately I struggled in this area of really believing it and walking in confidence in this area. I've had so much pain in my past which I attributed to my beauty. Her words ministered to a place in my heart so deep. Then after affirming my beauty she spoke to me about the power of gratitude and living in the moment. I can't share all of it but needless to say I was brought to tears. The very things she talked about were things I wanted to learn and had been praying that God would reveal to me. As I shared the other day in my post here, although the truth about the journey is that it gets tough I am so glad that the God I serve is faithful to meet my needs and give me exactly what I need to make it through every journey I come across in life.

I'm grateful for my church family because they are truly amazing people. Although this is mostly directly to my home church, H.O.P.E.'s House since they have really poured into me over the last 9 years of my life. I'm so much better because of the people I serve alongside. I have to give honor to my pastors Charles and Andrea Humphrey because they are the bomb dot com. They have blessed me so much with their teachings and with the example they set with their lives. I am also grateful for the body of Christ at large. Some many amazing people worldwide of different colors and different tongues. We are the church. It's not a building it's us. Everyone of us who professes the name of Jesus Christ. We are the church. So family I'm grateful for you too.

I hope you are enjoying your Sunday evening. I'm about to cook dinner and then prepare for my 4 day work week. Woot Woot! Please leave me a comment sharing what you are grateful for and as always thanks for reading!!

Start, Begin, Try, Do It...Now

I was having lunch with a friend the other day and we were discussing our lives and important changes we both wanted to make with respect to starting businesses and changing careers. In the moment I said that I was frustrated that I hadn't done more planning because it's summer and I should have a rough idea of my goals for Fall and Winter. She listened and then told me that it was okay. She said that sometimes you can't do a bunch of planning sometimes it's more important to just start. I took it all in for a sec and felt relieved. I'm not a planner by nature and one of the things I keep hearing is that if you want to be successful then you need to have a plan. Her words provided me with so much relief and comfort because they released me from feeling like I had to do this one thing in order to start. In many ways I have already started the journey to start my business and change careers. Just because I can't see the fruit of my labor doesn't mean that the seed wasn't planted. I encourage you to start, begin, try, do it...now!

Anywho I'm off at a conference, learning how to move forward in some key areas of my life. Leave me a comment down below. I would really like to hear from you and as always thanks for reading.

The Truth about the Journey

I'm going to be real honest here. Making a change in your life, any change for that matter sometimes sucks. Don't get me wrong it's worth it but sometimes it just sucks. I know not really inspirational but stick with me. This morning I woke up on the wrong side of the bed. I literally awoke during a dream that wasn't bad or good just interesting but I wanted to see how it ended. It was in the middle of my sleep cycle so when I was abruptly woken up I felt really groggy. My head was spinning and I just knew that if I didn't kick myself in the pants and snap out of it then yesterday would repeat itself all over again. I had a crazy day at work yesterday and as a result my emotions were a bit frazzled and although it's Friday I feel sort of blah. Then my mind started churning as it normally does this early in the AM. I started thinking about how the journey I am on right now sort of feels like a long road trip. I should really say journeys because I have quite a few,

The first journey is my debt reduction journey where my hubby and I are working to eradicate $45k worth of debt in 35 months. The next journey is to make the switch from employee to entrepreneur in the next 1-2 years and the last switch is a bit complex as I am trying to break destructive patterns and habits in my life that will prevent me from being successful. To help you understand I will share a few of those patterns. The first pattern is playing the victim. I do this so much. Maybe not externally but definitely internally. I replay situations over and over in my head and I am never at fault just everyone else. That's wrong guys!!! I'm not perfect and the fact that I think that in my mind is not okay. The next thing is blaming others for my station in life such as my parents, teachers, God, friends, job and even myself for situations that were beyond my control. The blame has to be accurately shifted to fall where appropriate. I am to blame for where I am in life but that also means that I can change where I am in life as well. Lastly making excuses for not pursuing greatness and not pushing past roadblocks. I actually made a YouTube video about pushing past roadblocks which you can view here. I make a lot of excuses for not pursuing greatness such as timing, lack of resources, lack of experience, lack of support, etc., etc., etc. The list goes on but at some point you have to say that's enough. You are either going to be great or you're not. Simply put.

Back to the road trip analogy though. I felt as thought whenever I thought about these different journeys I was on, the more I felt I was on a road trip. I have a destination in mind and I've set out on the road but it's going to take some time to get there. If you're like me then you've packed snacks, great music, books on tape (OK audible but whatever), you've also got money for gas, food and the occasional hotel but your goal is to just get there. However you forget that you have to make stops along the way. Like eventually you will run out of gas if you don't stop and refuel. And you have to be strategic about where you stop otherwise you could be stranded on a long stretch of road with no gas station for miles if you don't plan. Although you might have just a little less than 1/2 tank left it might make sense to stop now just in case the next gas station is further than expected. Or you get tired and need to rest or take a break from the road. Sometimes you just need life's little distractions to help you recharge.

Well today is that day that I need a pit stop and I am confident that my heavenly Father will meet that need today. He always does. If you are in this place and need a pick me up. Take a moment and breathe. Remember that you are on a journey. Remember that it takes time to see and make improvements in your life. Recognize you just might need to be refueled for the next stretch of road. Leave me a comment down below and let me know what journey you are on and how that's going. I would love to hear from you and as always thanks for reading.

Racism in the 1st Grade

The first time I was called the N-word I was 6 years old in the first grade. I was a student at Campo Elementary School in Mrs. Lyons class. She was the best. In her class we cast votes to see who would win the 1992 Presidential race, Bush or Clinton. I was so happy I picked the right guy. I remember coming in that morning she had our class tallies on the board. Those who picked Bush were far greater than those who picked Clinton. She quieted us all down and we listened over the intercom as the principal announced the winner. Something in me leaped. I guessed right! I had some fun times in her class. My mom loved Mrs. Lyons arts and crafts projects; I remember my mom kept the gold painted pine cone wreaths I made for many years. To be honest we just lined up the pine cones, Mrs. Lyons hot glued them and spray painted. They were pretty dope though. However along with the high times there were some low times.

I still remember the day like it was yesterday although the names are quite fuzzy. All I know is I had a best friend in 1st grade who's name escapes me now. We were inseparable. We sat near each other in class and hung out on the playground. I also had a crush on him but would never admit it. In fact I was playing match matcher. My best friend ironically had a crush on the other Amber in our class. Her name I do remember. I would give him advice on how to go to talk to her. I remember I told him to buy her Lisa Frank stuff to show how much he really cared. Who didn't like Lisa Frank? Anyway this one morning during recess we're on the blacktop watching Amber on the monkey bars plotting my friend's big move when his big brother (a 6th grader) intrudes on our conversation with his 3 friends. They immediately start to tease him for hanging out with me. They say that he likes me and immediately my friend says "Gross! No way she's just my friend." Then they start to say he likes a dark girl. Then they start to say I'm an n-word and he's an n-word lover. I was so confused. I didn't really know what the word meant at the time but it hurt my feelings so much. I wanted to tell my friend's brother that we were just friends but the words wouldn't come out. I wanted to say we were trying to figure how he can tell the other Amber that he liked her but I don't think they would listen. The fact is my friend got so mad he stormed off into the classroom upset. To be honest I don't know what I did in the moment. However later I do remember shedding hot tears at my desk and doing my best to mask my pain from my friends. Why did that word hurt so much? What did it mean? These were all questions swarming around my little head.

It wasn't until I was 7 years old in the 2nd grade that I found out what that word meant. I came home from school one day and asked my dad about culture. We were studying cultures in class and our teacher said that you define a people group or culture by the food, customs and beliefs. I just remember leaving school feeling so empty. All my friends could say that they were Polish, French, Mexican, German, etc and they knew their food, customs and beliefs. I felt so left out. So when I asked my dad I'm like is soul food our food and what are our customs? Are we African? Are we American? Where are we from? He explained that we were American. Soul Food and the other American food was our food. I wasn't pleased with the answer but I accepted it. Somewhere in the conversation I asked him about the N-word. He immediately was jovial and said that's what we call one another as a term of endearment but don't let anyone call you that. If they do well then you have permission to fight them. This was the only time I was given permission to fight otherwise my Dad's motto was "You don't start fights you finish them." Needless to say I got into a lot of fights in elementary. As I was thanking my Dad for the talk, I said something to the affect “Alright my n-word” which didn't sit well with him. I got a whole other lecture after that. You can imagine how confused I was after that. I guessed the n-word shouldn't be used period.

I share this story for those who may relate and for those who may not be aware. Kids can be mean but I honestly believe racism and discrimination are taught. Those 6th graders didn't learn that terminology on their own or its use. It's unfortunate but that wasn't the last time I was called the n-word. I think if I had understood what that word meant prior to being called it, I probably would have been more wounded. Those are my thoughts but of course I can't know for sure.

First and foremost above any other label I consider myself a child of God. That's how I see myself that's my default association, before calling me a woman, Black or African-American, a wife, a daughter, a sister or a friend. I call myself a child of God. It wasn't always this way. In fact I went 19 years referring to myself as a black girl or black young woman but when I accepted Christ into my life I acknowledged that I was mind, body, soul and spirit. This shell of a body I was in was not who I was or what I was but merely the vessel I was placed into to maneuver through life. I know that probably sounds wacky but I believe it to my core. Now don't get me wrong I'm not marking “other” on legal documents and filling in "Child of God" as my race or ethnicity. I'm just saying that's how I see myself.  Trust me I know that I am a woman and that I am Black. That's just not who I am if that makes sense. I have wanted to share that story for a while now and I'm curious to know yours. Please share your thoughts and feedback below in the comments and as always thanks for reading.